I lay in bed staring at my ceiling for ages. Kalian wasn’t joking when he said I’d understand why he had so much difficulty explaining the Enlightenment.
There is no way to explain it. I also have no clue what it means. I’m sure Kalian said it was supposed to bring me clarity, but it did anything but that for me.
It was more like a jumbled mess of feelings. Some felt like they were my own, where as others weren’t. It involved people in my life and ghosts from dreams.
Kalian said not to think of it like my dreams, which was easy enough. My dreams had clarity. They depicted events, despite how impossible or unlikely the events may seem; or how little I understood what they meant. They were still some form of event.
This was nothing like that at all. But I’m driving myself nuts going around in circles trying to make some sense of it. Today’s my birthday, and I’m certainly not going to let this elusive Enlightenment put a damper on it.